


Hogwarts misery

by SkeletonHypetrain



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 06:58:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16805719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkeletonHypetrain/pseuds/SkeletonHypetrain
Summary: this a compilation of stories shorties of cassy at hogwarts





	1. Chapter 1

Cassy was with her brother at one of the potterhead´s convention for her 11st birthday.  
She was the only kid who was in there; because she was surrounded by 20-30 yr olds who still believe in magic.  
Cassy: this is boring; I wanna go to the mlp convention.  
Eldain: don’t worry, you´re 11 yrs old, I think the owl has surprise for you.  
Cassy: what.  
Then an owl appeared with a card, it dropped the card to cassy´s hands.  
Cassy: look brother!, I was selected for Hogwarts!.  
Suddenly, all the grown up potterheads looked at her with jealousness.  
Potterhead 1: what the hell, how about us?!, I was waiting for my Hogwarts card since 1997!, this is unfair!  
Potterhead 2: oh shut up!, I was waiting for this since 2001!.  
Potterhead 3: no one asked you!, moviewatcher.  
Potter head 4: hey guys, chill out, we have the wizarding world of harry potter.  
Potterhead: do you think that money comes from the sky!?, I have wasted my money for a wand replica.  
Potterhead 2: lucky girl, I hate elves, they have felix felicis instead of blood.  
Eldain: let’s get out of there before they would say ``avada kedabra´´ with their toy wands.  
After they go out, cassy looked at the letter.  
Cassy: did you go to Hogwarts?,like dad?  
Eldain: yes, of course.  
Cassy: but, mom told me that…  
Eldain: nevermind, is just momma faun things,well i´ll be with you buying those stuff.  
Cassy: but first, I´ll talk about this to our parents.  
Eldain: oh I almost forgot, have this.  
Eldain gave to cassy his known best seller: how to deal with doctors who had an evil alter ego who is gonna ruin your life.  
In the title of the book there was eldain wearing the white knight armor holding a sword.  
Cassy: why did you gave me that,there´s no trolls in Hogwarts.  
Eldain: just in case.


	2. The wand.

Eldain: well, we have bought everything on the list.  
Cassy: the only thing we had to buy is the wand.  
Eldain: well, the only wand shop they had is ollivanders.  
Cassy: lets got there.  
As they entered to ollivanders, they saw him.  
Ollivander: oh, isn’t that you,eldain?  
Eldain: wassup  
Ollivander: and who´s there with you?, are you his sister.  
Cassy:yes..  
Ollivander: oh you, you look like your mother, you´ve got her eyes,horns…, and you eldain you are a troublemaker like your father.  
Eldain: thank you  
Cassy: wait, did you meet my mom?  
Ollivander: yes…I met her*sigh*, but that´s the past, let me show some wands to you, here have this, it´s core has a dragon heartstring, try to bring this box to me.  
Eldain: when he mentioned our mom, I can smell the tragic secondary backstory.  
Cassy:ok  
Ollivander: you did it well, you know that the wand chooses the wizard.  
Cassy: no, I choose the wand.  
Eldain: well, here your money, we have to go, and some greeting from my mom.  
Ollivander: good bye…  
(O stares at a photo of him and the mother of the van dork brothers(Mephis)when they were young)  
Ollivander: Mephis…


	3. at the train

Mahogany: geesh, every seat is occupied, well i´ll go to that, at least I can met harry potter!  
(as she entered to that room thing of the train, she saw that one of the seats was covered with the lot of the honeydukes, suddenly cassy popped out from that bunch)  
Cassy: SURPRISE!  
Mahogany: AHHHHH!, your legs  
Cassy: what´s wrong?, you didn’t see a faun in your life.  
Mahogany: no, the thing is why a beast is going to that school.  
Cassy: I don’t care about that, do you want some candy, some chocolate frogs?  
Mahogany:what´s your name?  
Cassy: Im Cassiopeia van dork, what´s yours?  
Mahogany: Im mahogany of the dark blood moon the 3rd of mary the sue of ebony of darkness.  
Cassy: what do you want?, some chocolate frogs, pumpkin pasties, some jelly beans.  
Mahogany: I wanna pick the pasties.  
Cassy: great, my favorites are the cauldron cakes!, let me eat this chocolate frog.  
Mahogany: what card you have now?  
Cassy: I got Gandalf!  
Mahogany: that´s Dumbledore.  
Cassy: Doubledoor?  
Mahogany: nevermind, you know what, im going to be a Gryffindor,  
Cassy: is because you are character who has an important story arc?.  
Mahogany: nevermind.


	4. The sorting

Sorting hat:  
``WOOOOOOOOO, you can be at  
The popular shack or maybe the snake  
Shack, theres 4 house that I want to send you now, you can a popular one or a evil one, you  
Can be a smart ass or going to the useless shack´´  
Mcgonagall: ermm, sorting hat you sang the wrong lyrics.  
Sorting hat: I don’t care about that.  
Mcgonagall: well children, I will call each of you to be selected in one of the houses:  
Russell,Jack.  
Sorting hat: RAVENCLAW!  
Mcgonagall: Shamrock,Michael  
SH: SLYTHERIN!.  
M: Van dork,Cassiopeia?  
Cassiopeia: im here!.  
Everyone looked shocked at the faun´s goat legs, some people were saying: why is this beast here, that thing will not belong to this school, who let her enter to this school?.  
Sorting hat: hey..you are a van dork right?, I remember your father, he was caught because..you know, and your brother, holy shit, his party at the forbidden forest was awesome!..,you know what house I sent to them and you right now,HUFFLEPUFF!  
Cassy: yay!  
Mahogany: hufflepuff, the home of the useless, now it’s time to go to the lion house.  
Sorting hat: I know what house you belong to…,grrrrr  
Mahogany: griffindor,griffindor!  
Sorting hat: GRRRIFFF…HUFFLEPUFF!  
Mahogany: WHAT THA FU-  
(Later in the feast, cassy was eating a lot)  
Griffindor student: look how she eats, she´s not human.  
Ravenclaw student: look at her legs, why they let a fantastic beast in Hogwarts.  
Cassy: did you say something?  
Rstudent: no.


	5. first  class

Flitwick: so remember children, it´s wingdarium leviosa, swish and flick.  
Mahogany: what are you laughing at cassy?  
Flashback:  
Eldain: hey, sis look at this video.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWtO0cfgewY  
(eldain and cassy laugh)  
Eldain: remember is not leviosa, is Leviosá.  
(end of flashback)  
Cassy: is not leviosa, is leviosá..  
Mahogany: I fucking hate you.  
Flitwick: you did it well Cassiopeia, 20 points for hufflepuff.


	6. potions

Cassy: I wonder if we have a new potion master.  
(then snape with goatee appears)  
Snape: hello.  
(cassy looked shocked)  
Snape: what´s the matter?  
Cassy: YOU AREN´T SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD?!.  
Snape: I survived the snake attack, wait..you are..  
Cassy: im Cassiopeia van dork.  
Snape: i know your father  
Cassy: really?.  
Snape: well…  
(flashback 2: Hogwarts, 1970s)  
Young snape: I hate james and his gang!, they are bullying all the time..what the..,what´s that, is that a van?.  
(young snape enters to the van and notices the white smoke)  
Dyan: hi, spane, how´s going.  
Young snape: are you doing some kind of potion?  
Dyan: its weed.  
YS: what?  
Dyan: marihuana, here´s a blunt for ya.  
YS: is it dangerous?  
Dyan: dangerous,no, but I think its legal.  
(420 minutes later)  
YS: this is great.  
Dyan: I told ya my dude.  
(both were laughing, end of flashback)  
Snape: well that also happened.  
Cassy: and also my mom?  
(flashback 3):  
Dyan: hey snapehead, this is my wife, Mephis.  
Snape: hello.  
Mephis: we´re expecting a little van dork in the family.  
Snape:oh god.  
(end of flashback).  
Snape: what I was talking about…, oh,lets start with the potion class, take your books..  
Is that an advanced potion book?  
Cassy:yes.., my bro give me this, it’s said that is property of the half blood prince.  
Snape: that’s my book.  
Cassy:oh,ok.


	7. bring your daughter at work.

Dyan: oh come on, m´lord, Its just this day.  
Voldemort: no.  
Dyan: what, I cannot bring my daughter at bring your son at work day?  
Voldemort: we are deatheaters.  
Dyan: and y´all are from the snake house, except the rat man.  
Cassy: dad, look at this dog.  
Dyan: honey,that´s fenrir greyback, hope he has the chip thing and he´s already vaccinated.  
Voldemort: he´s a werewolf, not a dog, and I will never forget what have you done and your son.  
Dyan:what.  
Voldemort: you both were stoned, and you touched my face for 5 hours.  
Dyan: is because you don’t have nose.  
Voldemort: I have reptile nostrils!


	8. riddikulus

Lupin: so today children, the spell we are going to learn is riddikulus, this spell can turn any boggart into something funny, so mahogany, you start first.  
Mahogany: ok.  
(the boggart shows her fear: being humiliated by the canon)  
Mahogany: riddikulus!  
(now the canon cheers at her)  
Mahogany:thank you  
(some hours later)  
Lupin: Cassiopeia!  
Cassy:ok,here we go!  
(the boggart transforms into her biggest fear: mr.hyde holding eldain´s mawled corpse)  
Cassy:no…  
Lupin: say riddikulus, is not real.  
Cassy screams and cries, she drops her wand and blacks out.  
Lupin: oh no, i´ll take her to the nurse,ok?


	9. the skiving snack box

Cassy was wondering through Hogwarts, but she founds a box in one of the benches  
Cassiopeia: oh,what´s is?  
As she opened the box, she saw some yellow and orange candies; some of them were red and blue, green and purple,etc.  
Cassiopeia: oh candy!.  
She ate all of the candy, but something went wrong.  
(Hours later)  
Cassiopeia was at one of the beds of the hospital wing, on her bed there was some candies, and some presents with the tag: get well soon, written by the hufflepuff students  
Pomfrey: high fevers, nauseas, feeling of blacking out and nosebleeding,poor child.  
Then snape appeared.  
Snape: those weasley twins, why they bring such thing at Hogwarts.  
Pomfrey: what happened?  
Snape: one of the ravenclaw students told me that some hooligan left this ``skiving thing´´ in one of the benches, they told me that those things can cause such thing to skive!.  
Pomfrey:who in the world can do that.  
Casssy: sevy, stay with me.  
Snape: i´ll stay with you.  
Snape took a sit on of the chairs next to Cassiopeia.  
Cassy pulled out her phone.  
Cassy: look here´s my brother with moody.  
Snape:right.., also how´s going?.  
Cassy: im sick, but i´ll be okay, did you know that the wand man from diagon alley met my mom, eldain told me about some sad backstory was goin on, what´s your favourite flower?  
Snape: I don’t know maybe a rose or a succulent.  
Cassy: I thought it was a lily, because of…  
Snape: Cassiopeia, I accepted lily´s death, now im 43 and I start to think about things about my life..  
Cassy: don’t worry about that, there´s more fish in the sea, also, some students said that the place I really belong to the forbidden forest than Hogwarts, also some students from griffyndor and ravenclaw lock me at the classroom with that horrible boggart transformed into my worst fear.  
Snape: don’t listen to them,i´ll give them a lesson.  
Cassy: last night I saw little black tar being, it had a lot of olive green eyes, he was holding a screwdriver, that thing stare at it like a moth with a lamp.  
Then at night, snape looked at cassy,who was sleeping, hidden in some candy wrappings, then,he turned back and go away.


	10. picking up

Cassy arrived at king´s cross, she was looking for her brother.  
Cassy: Brother!  
Eldain: sister!  
They hugged each other, later they were at honeydukes.  
Eldain: how was this year?  
Cassy:great,Brother, thank you to bring me to my safe place.  
Eldain:is okay.  
Cassy: people looked at me like I was a weirdo, I also told my parents about this year, another hufflepuff in the family! And I met a lot of teachers.  
Eldain: and how about my known best seller.  
Cassy: they love it, specially your illustrations that you made with paullie.  
Eldain: if you are telling me about my day, well I spend the day with my robot/armor.  
Cassy: I really love Hogwarts!, they can allow me do magic, I tell them that I, you and everyone else were magical.  
Eldain: oh you..  
Then the bros spend the afternoon at honeydukes, only them.

The end.


End file.
